One of the eye openers in life is that we learn more about ourselves every day. Whilst some revelations may not be good or at all what we had hoped, we can learn from them and work on how we can change.
When situations arise that challenge us, it provides an opportunity to look at how we react and investigate why. It is likely our response links back to our childhood or another life experience. It will benefit us greatly to take our time and delve into the past. It may be painful to go back five, ten, twenty years but it will allow us to put the pieces together.
We cannot separate how we think and operate today from our life experiences. They are very much linked and the sooner we grasp this, the sooner we can get to the root of our ideas, attitudes, mindset, resilience and so on.
Looking back at my life I am convinced, in fact I know that my childhood and teenage life experiences contribute to who I am today. Of course, now I am an adult I have the ability to somewhat ‘change my story’ to an extent. However there are occasions, a huge number of them when I react or have a thought and I know exactly where it links back to. I know the root and am therefore able to shut it down.
We are rather complex as people, with our ideas, thoughts, insecurities, values and morals. Just when you think you know yourself, you find yourself in a situation or a setting and wonder why it is having a particular effect on you. I have had many “I thought I had dealt with this” moments and wondered why an historic issue has now come to the forefront. Often we delude ourselves into thinking we have dealt with a hang up or issue we struggled with only to discover we actually suppressed it. I recall suppressing my emotions during a difficult period in my teenage life. I truly felt at the time this was the only way I could deal with it and sustain a level of sanity. Fast forward years later and the issue would pop up because I had not laid it to rest.
We can be whoever we want to be in the company of others; Jack the lad, life and soul of the party, the perfectionist, the high flier – I could go on. We cannot lie to ourselves, we know who we are, what our insecurities are, when we feel discomfort and pain, when we feel overwhelmed, when we are uncertain. When alone we have to face who we are as there is no hiding.
It is our responsibility to look deep within and be willing to deal with the issues that continue to rise. They will not die a death until we take choose to take action. It does not matter how long the process will take but that you start the process.