As a child and young teenager I could not stand being told “there is no use crying over spilt milk”. At the time I would have been upset over one thing or another and felt my tears were valid. I was of the mindset that if you were upset you had every reason to show this.
I struggled to deal with anything that jeopardised my plans and with disappointment. I recall receiving earrings for my 13th birthday and the clasp broke soon after. I was completly inconsolable and upset for most of the day. The damage was done and I felt disappointed and angry in myself. Looking back on my life, I often blamed myself even when found in situations that were not of my own doing.
The term ‘ there is no use crying over spilt milk’ simply means there is no use getting upset AFTER something has gone wrong. It cannot be changed therefore it should be accepted (taken from UsingEnglish.com website). In theory this makes sense but the reality is far from different. We respond to challenges and disappointments in varying ways depending on our resilience, our life experiences and mindset. Some quickly bounce back whilst others allow it to consume them.
Several times a month my train is cancelled or delayed. Initially I would grow frustrated at the thought of adding to my commute which was already long and for being late to work. My mood then impacted on the first part of my day. I would question my life and my tiring commute (ever the over thinker)! I slowly came to the realisation that I had to learn to deal with disappointments otherwise they would have a hold over me. I now board my train at an earlier time than necessary, in the case of delays/cancellations I can take the following train and still be on time.
Worrying or over thinking adds nothing to our lives yet so many of us do it. In some ways it gives us the go ahead to maintain a negative perspective on life, a reason to be miserable. This is living half a life and not at all recommended.
What are your views on not crying over spilt milk?
What advice would you give?