Live life to the full!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Years ago I would shake my head at sayings such as;

“Dance as if nobody is looking”
“Laugh as if it will be your last”
“Do not forget to stop and smell the roses”

I guess I was a bit of a cynic, well so my mother said. I found sayings a little ‘wet behind the ears’ and too try hard.
I did not realise life really is short and generally took myself far too seriously. At times we can get caught up with what we desire, what do not yet have, what is coming next that we forget to enjoy the here and now.

The other day I spotted a beautiful robin in my back garden and took a photograph of it. The robin looked carefree whilst perched on my garden wall then it flew off never to be seen again. I enjoy peering through my kitchen window at my tree, the birds and the cats that visit. I enjoy watering the flowers in my garden and watching them bloom. I smile as I sprinkle water over the flowers whilst trying to convince myself I am ‘green fingered’. I really am not but I do like a pretty garden.  I enjoy teasing my children and husband; we dance, sing and make jokes – our house is full of much laughter. Simple but pleasurable pass times.

We are not given the chance to go back and relive moments of our lives that we were too miserable, distracted and discontent to enjoy. They just become missed opportunities. Our families; immediate and extended grow up, move away and pass away. As do our friends. It is therefore important we cherish them today.

Life will never be perfect, not everything will go as planned. However there will always be hope. There will always be elements of joy and laughter that we can grab hold of.

I am of the mindset that if you want to place blue highlights in your hair, go ahead and do it. You can always re-colour if it does not grow on you. Wear those pretty heels to take photographs in at home knowing they are far too high to ever consider leaving the house in.

How do you ensure you remain in the present?
Was there a pivotal moment in your life in which you made this choice?

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Making life that little bit easier!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is busy – plain and simple!

I often think of how I can accommodate all I need to do and the thought of it is far worse than reality. Working full-time, running a business, raising children, being a carer and so on means there is little time to cook from scratch, clean and tidy your home, keep to appointments and stay on top of administrative tasks.

So how does one manage and stay balanced rather than stressed?

Well, one option would be to outsource. Identify if you can afford to outsource and what you are happy to outsource. Hiring a cleaner on a weekly basis will save you several hours of housework. Try to avoid the temptation of cleaning before the cleaner arrives as it defeats the object! If you have a large garden, consider hiring a gardener. If your child requires extra learning support consider paying for a tutor (particularly if maths is NOT your strong point like moi!) Freeing up your time allows you to focus on your family or perhaps a hobby with no guilt.

Previously, I would cook on a Saturday and Sunday. Now we order a take away on a Saturday and I cook on Sunday after church. When we have full-on Saturdays, I am under no pressure to squeeze in cooking. It also means I am far more relaxed and less likely to complain which my husband is pleased about!

If you would rather not outsource for your own personal reasons, why not create a housework rota for the family to ensure everyone pulls their weight. Bulk cooking is also recommended when cooking meats which can be placed in plastic containers and frozen. You could consider holding a ‘gardening party’ and invite family/friends over to give you hand. Throwing a barbeque as a thank you would go down well.

Do you outsource in order to free up your time?
Are there particular household tasks you would rather not do?

Let out your ‘inner child’!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As we mature, we naturally take on more responsibility but generally feel like the same person we were as a teenager. Our appearance would have changed in a number of ways but on the inside we remain ‘us’. On a number of occasions I have caught myself stating someone in their late 30’s, early 40’s is young because this is my age. I then realise it is practically middle aged!

I feel it is important to bring out our inner child now and again – to make us feel alive and to enjoy life. Being an adult can be downright boring and demanding at times, so much so that I have often muttered to myself:

“I do not want to play this game anymore”

I look at the way my children have such confidence in my husband and me, that we will care for them, that we have all the solutions, that we clearly never get tired, that we are indestructible. The notion that I am a parent catches me unawares – these little people actually call me ‘mummy’. I recall seeing my mum in the same light when a child, I thought she was superwoman. She had insecurities, fears and worries like anyone else but she knew how to laugh and not to take life so seriously.

So, how do I bring out my inner child?

  • I run up the stairs when home alone
  • I dance in the kitchen pretending I have an audience
  •  I ask my children to show me their latest dance moves.  I mimic them while teasing  to hit the dance floor at their school disco – my daughter shudders at the thought!
  • I allow my children to do my hair and make up. They then take photographs of me.
  • I make faces whilst looking in the mirror
  • I make jokes out of practically any situation – just ask my husband!

Choose today to let your hair down a little, do something silly, go on a swing at the park, run around in a field, roll down a hill (the adult in me urges you to check first for dog fouling), dance in front of a full length mirror.

Stop taking yourself so seriously!

What is your purpose?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you ever think about your true purpose in life?

Do you even believe you have a purpose?

Purpose extends far beyond your career, hobbies, family life, responsibilities. Your purpose is what you are called to do and is likely to be something that impacts positively on the lives of others, whether a few or a multitude.

The busyness of life means we are often distracted or focused only on the day to day. Many have long commutes, stressful jobs, demanding families and after which there is little time to think;

“What am I called to do?”
“What difference do I want to make?”

As much as we enjoy our jobs (if you are fortunate) and love our families and friends we can make more of our lives by going deeper and identifying how and where we can make a difference. I believe each of us has something the world needs and by exploring this we will be walking in our purpose. One could be a good listener so often act as a confidant to friends and family members. Another could be a great encourager who offers hope to those who are in despair. There are many ways in which we can be a blessing to others.

After a long day in the office or working on your business, you may naturally want to binge on Netflix shows, read a book, catch up with friends. Whilst downtime is great and much needed, one should not neglect the fact that your life can have more meaning than this. Meaning is important as it reminds us we are not just here to pass time and what we do will leave a legacy for future generations.

15 or 16 years ago, I read a book called The Purpose Driven Life written by Rick Warren. This book has impacted greatly on my life up until this present day. It completely changed my perspective on purpose and I believe in order for one to be truly fulfilled they must have purpose.

Do you believe everyone has a purpose?

Do you fear the unknown?

 

 

 

 

 

We only know what is happening in this precise moment. There is no way of predicting what can occur in even the next minute. Often our expectations for the future are based on our past experiences. We link the two. If a person has faced disappointment after disappointment in their past, they would struggle to expect anything beyond this in their future. If a person has had a rather plain sailing life then they are likely to expect a continuation of this in the future.

Therefore depending on our experiences we can look to the future with hope and a sense of excitement or with dread and trepidation. Life will happen regardless of our outlook towards it – the wheel continues to move. Not knowing what is to come can leave us feeling vulnerable and open. Not many people like being in a place of vulnerability as it is often linked to weakness and transparency. Where then can one hide?

Throughout life, opportunities and risks will present themselves and we will have to decide whether we wish to run with them. Some will bring positive outcomes, and others we will learn from. In all of this it is best to keep moving forward and planning for our future.

The unknown can feel unsettling as it is unfamiliar and even uncomfortable. Many will choose comfort over delving into new territory because at least they know what to expect- no surprises, no disappointments.

Is this truly living though or is it merely playing it safe?

How well do you know yourself?

 

 

 

 

One of the eye openers in life is that we learn more about ourselves every day. Whilst some revelations may not be good or at all what we had hoped, we can learn from them and work on how we can change.

When situations arise that challenge us, it provides an opportunity to look at how we react and investigate why. It is likely our response links back to our childhood or another life experience. It will benefit us greatly to take our time and delve into the past. It may be painful to go back five, ten, twenty years but it will allow us to put the pieces together.

We cannot separate how we think and operate today from our life experiences. They are very much linked and the sooner we grasp this, the sooner we can get to the root of our ideas, attitudes, mindset, resilience and so on.

Looking back at my life I am convinced, in fact I know that my childhood and teenage life experiences contribute to who I am today. Of course, now I am an adult I have the ability to somewhat ‘change my story’ to an extent. However there are occasions, a huge number of them when I react or have a thought and I know exactly where it links back to. I know the root and am therefore able to shut it down.

We are rather complex as people, with our ideas, thoughts, insecurities, values and morals. Just when you think you know yourself, you find yourself in a situation or a setting and wonder why it is having a particular effect on you. I have had many “I thought I had dealt with this” moments and wondered why an historic issue has now come to the forefront. Often we delude ourselves into thinking we have dealt with a hang up or issue we struggled with only to discover we actually suppressed it. I recall suppressing my emotions during a difficult period in my teenage life. I truly felt at the time this was the only way I could deal with it and sustain a level of sanity. Fast forward years later and the issue would pop up because I had not laid it to rest.

We can be whoever we want to be in the company of others; Jack the lad, life and soul of the party, the perfectionist, the high flier – I could go on. We cannot lie to ourselves, we know who we are, what our insecurities are, when we feel discomfort and pain, when we feel overwhelmed, when we are uncertain. When alone we have to face who we are as there is no hiding.

It is our responsibility to look deep within and be willing to deal with the issues that continue to rise. They will not die a death until we take choose to take action. It does not matter how long the process will take but that you start the process.

Ways to combat stress

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life can be stressful and chaotic at times. In these moments what do you do? How do you feel?

The inability to deal with stress can have a major impact on your life. It can affect your home life, working life, the way you interact with others including family, extended family, acquaintances and colleagues. Stress can affect your health; mental health issues such as depression, moodiness, physical health such as chest pains and nausea. Stress can make you more prone to become dependant on drugs and alcohol.

It is important to identify strategies to deal with stress so you are not floored when situations arise – and they will! Whether it be in your family home, at work/within your business, or with extended family, you need to find a way of managing the situation and your response to it.

Over the years I have learnt to manage my emotions in the midst of chaos or stress. I must say it has not been an easy ride as I have to fight my natural tendency to stress . As a child and teenager I was so ordered, my dressing table was in order as was my wardrobe. I recall struggling immensely when life did not go to plan or I found myself in situations in which I had little or no control over. Looking back these issues appear small now but somehow I managed to blow them up in my mind and allow them to consume me. My need to keep my possessions in order was my way of having an element of control because there were areas of my life where there was none.

My five tips for dealing with stress:

1. Accept that stressful times will come no matter how organised, structured and focused you are.
2. In the moment of stress, identify what you have the power to do and focus on this.
3. Identify why you have a need to have such control. Does it stem back to your childhood, a relationship or a negative working environment?
4. Find someone to speak with confidentially whether a close friend or a qualified counsellor
5. For those of you who are Christians, I strongly advise you to pray when stress takes over.

So to round up, we can see that stress can affect many areas of our life, namely our well-being which must be protected in order for us to function well.

How do you cope with stressful situations?
What coping mechanisms have you put in place?
What advice would you give to others?

Light hearted tips and advice from an organised lady!

fisccollection

Welcome! fisc is an abreviation of 'flexibility is cool'. The site is a collection of blogs to promote the use of flexibility in our personal and professional lives, to help manage uncertainty and achieve growth.

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