Self-acceptance does not come easy to all. Some struggle for years to accept themselves due to the negative words spoken over their lives, their experiences and their childhood. To accept yourself is to acknowledge that you are not perfect and never will be. It is acknowledging whilst you need to make particular changes in your life in order to advance and be a more rounded person, you can love yourself as you are right now.
The painful reality about self-acceptance is one can continue to set goals and expectations and once they are met you still feel no better than you did before. The goal posts move and you put greater pressure on yourself to tick the boxes or fulfil all you set out to do. It is an exhausting way to live, trying to outdo yourself in the hope you will believe you are somehow deserving of your life.
Self-rejection is damaging and will only go on to destroy a person. A rejected person will believe they are not worth it and do not belong in particular settings. They are likely to turn down opportunities and lurk in the background believing ‘good things’ do not happen to people like them. They are likely to push others away, particularly those who love them.
Self-acceptance means you love and believe in yourself even when you make mistakes, fail at a task or activity or are having a bad day. Self-acceptance means you do not base your worth and confidence on what you do but in who you are. Self-acceptance means you easily accept love from others; friends, nuclear and extended families.
How can you learn to accept yourself?
1. Identify where your lack of acceptance derives from- only then can you begin to deal with it.
2. Identify if you need to forgive someone for their words or behaviour?
3. Identify if you need to forgive yourself for your own words or behaviour?
4. Write down five things you are good at, are recognised for within your social or work setting.
5. Treat yourself to something small daily or a few times a week. It can be running a bath with lots of salts and candles, reading a good book in a coffee shop or buying your favourite cake.
The journey to self-acceptance is a long one but choose to take a step forward today and break out of self-loathing and into self-loving. Though you may not know it now – you are worth it.
Have you struggled with self-acceptance? Did you find the root? What measures did you put in place to overcome it?