Accept yourself just as you are






Self-acceptance does not come easy to all. Some struggle for years to accept themselves due to the negative words spoken over their lives, their experiences and their childhood. To accept yourself is to acknowledge that you are not perfect and never will be. It is acknowledging whilst you need to make particular changes in your life in order to advance and be a more rounded person, you can love yourself as you are right now.

The painful reality about self-acceptance is one can continue to set goals and expectations and once they are met you still feel no better than you did before. The goal posts move and you put greater pressure on yourself to tick the boxes or fulfil all you set out to do. It is an exhausting way to live, trying to outdo yourself in the hope you will believe you are somehow deserving of your life.

Self-rejection is damaging and will only go on to destroy a person.  A rejected person will believe they are not worth it and do not belong in particular settings. They are likely to turn down opportunities and lurk in the background believing ‘good things’ do not happen to people like them. They are likely to push others away, particularly those who love them.

Self-acceptance means you love and believe in yourself even when you make mistakes, fail at a task or activity or are having a bad day.  Self-acceptance means you do not base your worth and confidence on what you do but in who you are.  Self-acceptance means you easily accept love from others; friends, nuclear and extended families.

How can you learn to accept yourself?

1. Identify where your lack of acceptance derives from- only then can you begin to deal with it.

2. Identify if you need to forgive someone for their words or behaviour?

3. Identify if you need to forgive yourself for your own words or behaviour?

4. Write down five things you are good at, are recognised for within your social or work setting.

5. Treat yourself to something small daily or a few times a week. It can be running a bath with lots of salts and candles, reading a good book in a coffee shop or buying your favourite cake.

The journey to self-acceptance is a long one but choose to take a step forward today and break out of self-loathing and into self-loving. Though you may not know it now – you are worth it.

Have you struggled with self-acceptance? Did you find the root? What measures did you put in place to overcome it?




12 thoughts on “Accept yourself just as you are”

  1. Lack of self-acceptance stems from labelling right from an early age as well as in adult life and this can be so difficult to shake off. Once the mindset is worked on, by blocking out negative thoughts we are more likely to be happy with ourselves.

    We all need to be tolerant and more accepting of each other regardless of who we are to help people build their self esteem.


    1. I agree with you Bola. As children we are deeply affected by how others speak to and treat us.

      Often we are intolerant of others because we struggle to accept ourselves.


  2. I believe that parents should educate their child to be open-minded in order to not bully those who are different, and at the same time, they should teach their child to love themselves as they are, that they are unique, just like everyone else is.


    1. Yes, people should be more accepting of others, especially children. I was a teen who struggled to fit in at secondary school. I was ‘different’ and happy to be so.


  3. Phoenicia — I lacked confidence as a child because of a negative environment. It took time to build up self-confidence and accept the reality of who I really am. As I accepted myself, I found that I was able to build enduring friendships and enjoy life much more.


  4. There was a time, When I was a victim of self-rejection which used to drown my confidence and I became the part of the vicious cycle of guilt and rejections which sooner started impacted my productivity but as soon as I started accepting myself as a person I am, I started growing and improved as an individual. All the things we do are part and lessons of life and should to try outgrow from all negative vibes that we receive within or from surroundings.


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