How tolerant are you of others?






Just the other day I was thinking about my tolerance levels and there is definitely room for improvement. Living and working with people we need a level of tolerance to maintain peace and harmony. Of course people grate on us in various ways but whenever thoughts and feelings come to me I quickly remind myself that I too irritate others.  Often we only see what others do and say forgetting that we too get it wrong and that we can be equally annoying. Choosing to accept others breaks down barriers and even allows us to accept ourselves.

Ever since a child I have been particular about tidiness. I recall lining up my toiletries on my dresser as well as my shoes and clothes in my wardrobe. I grew up in a small home but it was always orderly and tidy thanks to my mother. After marrying and having children I had to reluctantly let go of my ideal of a showroom house otherwise I would have spent the whole day tidying up. I maintain a level of tidiness but give the children room to play with their toys and do arts and crafts. Paints are left for the summer months when they can do art in the garden or I pile on layers of newspaper and plastic to protect our dining table.

Our choice of having two children was down to me knowing how much I could tolerate. Initially my husband had ideas of having four children and I had to lay out the realities of life to him; childcare fees, minimal free time, finances and did I say minimal free time? Here in the UK it is completely different to Nigeria where he was born and grew up. There are not multiple aunties and female cousins available to care for your children whilst you go out to work.  When the children are testing our patience I remind him that he wanted four.  He chuckles at the thought of two more. Our children are energetic, assertive and talkative – believe me they are more than enough!

We must learn to be flexible in order to get along with others otherwise our working relationships and personal relationships will be greatly impacted upon.  Being tolerant will mean at times laying aside what you would like, not working to your own agenda and acknowledging others have different opinions. When we are in our own environment we can decide how we would like life to flow but when we step into others, we need to be willing to be tolerant.

How tolerant are you?
Has this improved with age?
What life lessons can you share?




14 thoughts on “How tolerant are you of others?”

  1. Oh gosh, you always have me answering questions that make me think! I am tolerant, but I’m also always asking why. I want to know the answer behind people doing whatever it is that attracted me to pay attention to them. Given my country’s current climate, I wish we could all practice far more tolerance for each other. It would change everything.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Phoenicia — well, with the political environment now in the U.S. it’s becoming harder to be tolerant of people with what I consider to be views that are antithetical to humane treatment of children and those in need. I have to admit I don’t want to be tolerant because I feel their behavior is intolerable.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Jeannette- I have read the newspaper articles and the story that has stayed with me is the girl with the pink shoes who was separated from her mother. So heartbreaking.


  3. Great timing Phoenicia! Until yesterday I would have patted myself on the back and pronounced myself very tolerant, but life does have a way of showing us the truth. I have a new neighbor who has decided she wants to insert herself into my life and she is making me crazy. I guess she’s lonely and the fact that I work at home has given her the idea I’m just sitting here twiddling my thumbs.
    Yesterday she knocked on my door while I was trying to finish a project that was due this morning and I decided to not answer the door because she talks so much. But she kept knocking, and kept knocking! Finally, I yanked open the door with a “WHAT?!” It was nothing, she just wanted to chat. I’ve replayed that conversation far too many times, but thankfully after the initial outburst, I managed to keep it together. Obviously, I am going to have to set some firm boundaries and soon. Thanks for sharing your story and for challenging us to consider our own level of tolerance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are welcome Marquita. We can become set in our ways as we learn more about our character, our comforts. Boundaries as you have stated in your blogs, are important in relationships. You never know what could flourish from this new friendship. It is interesting that just when we think we know ourselves a situation or feelings occur that remind us that we are still learning.


  4. When I work with school children from all walks of life and of all nationalities I really have to be tolerant. Sometimes it’s trying such as when a youngster considers himself worth more than me because he is male.

    Liked by 1 person

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