How do you channel your anger?








I am sure you can recall the last time you were angry – it may have been justifiable or not but feelings of anger came either way.

Life is challenging and we are tested each and every day by the person who jumps the queue, the person who does not say thank you, the husband/wife who sometimes takes us for granted, the children who always take us for granted!

A situation springs to mind of when I felt annoyed.   My children were arguing over who should go into the shower first. This is a delay tactic in order to stay up later – to them every minute clearly helps! I was tired and had a nice day with them at the park. It was after 8pm and  in my books time for their bed. I become quite protective of my evening as this is when I can truly relax and focus on myself. Yes, I shouted and felt bad soon after.

When you act out in anger you are more likely to say and do what you really do not want to. You are acting out in haste and giving little thought to how you come across to others. Your tone and body language will reveal your anger and the recipient will have their back up. By this stage you have lost.  Though you can apologise, you cannot take back what you say or do.

There are many benefits to remaining cool and refraining from being hot headed. You remain in control and therefore more stable.  If one lives off of their emotions they will become ‘the colleague’, ‘the friend’, ‘the family member’ who is like a loose cannon – you do not know what you are going to face at any given time.

Taking time out to think about your situation means you will look at it from several angles, you are more likely to be reasonable.

How can you stop acting out in anger?

1. Whenever you feel anger coming – walk away from the situation if possible.  If your child or another person is slowly winding you up – step away.

2. As tempting as it may be to ‘say your piece’, try not to engage in arguments.

3. Ensure you have all the facts.

4. Identify the triggers and put mechanisms in place.

How do you curb anger?
How do you remain calm in challenging situations? 


19 thoughts on “How do you channel your anger?”

  1. Had you written this some years ago, I’d have had to own up to a redhead’s temper, but like my hair, I have mellowed with age. I still get upset over things: Trump, prejudice, injustices, and the bad drivers in Pittsburgh. But I can discuss these things in a calm and rational manner now. (not Trump so much)
    If someone hurts a family member or a friend, I go into Defender of the Siblings mode and will react to the situation. I’ve learned to breathe and say a prayer before flapping my lips.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Letting anger take over and responding to a situation in anger can leave such deep wounds. It may not always be easy to walk away from a tense situation but that extra time can bring more clarity and addressing issues when calm always leads to better solutions.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good tips for anger management. My husband has dementia that used to surface in fits of anger. Before it was diagnosed, I would lash back in anger, as I couldn’t figure out where his anger was coming from. but once I knew the cause, it made it so much easier for me to remain calm and try and work through the feelings.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Until yesterday I’d have said it had been a long time since I felt angry – irritated, annoyed, yep, but angry, not so much. But yesterday a male blogger posted a blogging related question in a group I belong to and tagged me along with several other people. I answered his question and figured that would be the end of it, but he kept at me and what sent me over the edge was the condescending tone as he kept challenging my knowledge about my own blog.
    I almost lost it, but then I took the time to review his responses to the other people he’d tagged and noticed that he used the same (you silly girl) attitude with all of the women! That told me it wasn’t personal, just ignorant and sexist and I decided to just let it go.
    When I was much younger I suffered from anger issues, but learning to put myself on a timeout or just walk away helped me work through it. Thanks for the great advice and inspiration Phoenicia!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hardly ever get angry merely disappointed when people don’t behave in correct ways. When that happens I do whatever is appropriate in the situation. Sometimes you have to go as far as deciding you don’t want to have anything more to do with that person.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a good reminder for me! Depending on the day, time or even the weather 🙂 I may walk away, engage calmly or blow. Most of the time I’d rather resolve the issue with reflection, take a deep breath and then engage calmly. Blowing up may feel good at the time, but its a terrible way to deal with issues.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is a tough subject you have embraced. Covey writes something to the effect that unexpressed hostilities never die but are only buried alive to surface again later in uglier ways.” The Bible says something like “Be ye angry but sin not.” Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, this is so good, and applicable today, since I’ve had a bit of anger—petty, but nevertheless off-putting, to say the least. My natural tendency is to hold it in…it will resolve itself, I decide, and then simmer the rest of the day! I know that’s probably good for the situation, but not always good for me! So several hours have passed since I was challenged, and I’ve held my peace. The little tempest in my head is over, and I feel better. I’ve decided the repercussions of ‘letting loose’ are just not worth it! Thanks for your opportune words!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Phoenicia,
    Anger is a tough topic. It’s very hard for me to exercise self-control when I get angry. Your suggested steps make it sound easy! I’m not sure how to identify triggers. Can you say more about that?


    1. It is difficult Dr Rin and something I too struggle with. I have learnt that succumbing to your anger does not help matters. I am learning to stay quiet when I want to let rip. I have a passion for justice and fairness. I know when I am beginning to feel wound up. I do not always walk away – sometimes I allow myself to be pulled in and feel just as bad afterwards. My posts speak to me just as much as I want them to do to others.


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