I am sure you can recall the last time you were angry – it may have been justifiable or not but feelings of anger came either way.
Life is challenging and we are tested each and every day by the person who jumps the queue, the person who does not say thank you, the husband/wife who sometimes takes us for granted, the children who always take us for granted!
A situation springs to mind of when I felt annoyed. My children were arguing over who should go into the shower first. This is a delay tactic in order to stay up later – to them every minute clearly helps! I was tired and had a nice day with them at the park. It was after 8pm and in my books time for their bed. I become quite protective of my evening as this is when I can truly relax and focus on myself. Yes, I shouted and felt bad soon after.
When you act out in anger you are more likely to say and do what you really do not want to. You are acting out in haste and giving little thought to how you come across to others. Your tone and body language will reveal your anger and the recipient will have their back up. By this stage you have lost. Though you can apologise, you cannot take back what you say or do.
There are many benefits to remaining cool and refraining from being hot headed. You remain in control and therefore more stable. If one lives off of their emotions they will become ‘the colleague’, ‘the friend’, ‘the family member’ who is like a loose cannon – you do not know what you are going to face at any given time.
Taking time out to think about your situation means you will look at it from several angles, you are more likely to be reasonable.
How can you stop acting out in anger?
1. Whenever you feel anger coming – walk away from the situation if possible. If your child or another person is slowly winding you up – step away.
2. As tempting as it may be to ‘say your piece’, try not to engage in arguments.
3. Ensure you have all the facts.
4. Identify the triggers and put mechanisms in place.
How do you curb anger?
How do you remain calm in challenging situations?