Is your need to be right greater than your need for peace?








Sometimes we have unnecessary battles with others because we want to make a point that we are right. In some cases we are but does this mean we should continue to push?  Depending on the circumstances there may be a need to push as we are facing injustice. In other cases it is simply our ego coming into play.  I do not like being wrong and I doubt many others do either however I have no qualms in holding my hands up whenever I have made an error. I am less willing to accept the blame when I am not in the wrong.

I have had many encounters where I have fought to prove I am in fact right. I am passionate particularly if this falls into my working world as I take my responsibilities seriously. Also reputation is important to me.

As a child and teenager, though quiet and very much an introvert, I could not stand being wronged. I would argue my case and feel nothing but anger when the person ‘shut me down’.  I would want to close the conversation at a place where I felt both parties had their point taken but unfortunately this was not always the case.

Even today I will make my point and I have realised that sometimes seeking peace is preferable to being right.  I know what I know – does it matter if they do not know what I know? I am a person who tends to over explain and this derives from times in my life when I have felt completely misunderstood by others. I have come from one angle and the person has come from another, therefore they misjudged what I had said.

I have learnt there is a time to take a stand and a time to let “it”go. We require wisdom to determine which we do and when. Wisdom certainly comes through experience and understanding what is truly important in life. What matters today may not matter in six months time.

Do you lean towards peace or proving you are right?
What are the reasons for this?


16 thoughts on “Is your need to be right greater than your need for peace?”

  1. This post really resonates with me, at this time particularly. I’m realising that I need to forgive the people that have wronged me, otherwise this ‘need to be right’ will continue to rob me of my peace.
    My reason was because my feelings were never heard as a child and I spent most of my life fighting every battle so that I could be seen and heard, I’m tired now!
    Thanks so much for posting this. Even though it was some time ago it presented itself to me now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great topic Phoenicia! For me, it really depends on the subject and circumstances. My greatest passions are equality and honesty, so these are issues I’d be willing to stand up and fight for on any level. On the other hand, when it comes to day to day living I try to respect everyone’s right to their own opinion. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Although I know it often isn’t worth losing the peace over, on occasion I do get stuck trying to prove that I’m right. Having said that, being a black woman means that I often have to prove that I’m right or have my rights stepped on.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I once worked at an agency as an account executive servicing clients. So often we’d think we were right and the client was wrong. But I remember the head of account services often saying, “pick your barricades.” What he meant is don’t argue over every little thing. Choose the fights that are important because your client will respect your point of view even when disagreeing with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Who’s right and who’s wrong? We are over seven billion people on the planet and we all have different opinions. I understood that a long time ago and hence have no interest in convincing other people that I am right. Honestly, am I?..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Phoenicia. My father was one of those people who felt he always had to win an argument/discussion. I remember pulling out an encyclopedia to prove I was right and he said the book was wrong! So I’m not hung-up on proving my point. BUT, what really is important to me is being treated with respect. Thx for another thought-provoking post.


  7. Although I enjoy a good debate, I don’t like mean-spirited confrontation anymore than the next person. Sometimes, “having” to prove you are right is nothing more than being a bully. We’re all wrong and we’re all right and like you, I try hard to admit when I am the one in error. It’s far more important for peace to be the thing going forward than it is to be without flaws.

    Liked by 1 person

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