In order to move forward we MUST let go of the past. Our hurts, our challenges, our pain. We MUST acknowledge that though we experienced pain, rejection, confusion we have a right to move on and enjoy life to the full. Holding onto the past gives an element of familiarity and comfort even though it is not in any way productive. It is what we know and the thought of stepping away from the old us can be frightening. Some would rather cling to a life and people that are damaging for them in every possible way. We become our past experiences. We tell ourselves that this is our life, this is our portion when the truth is at one period it WAS our portion but no longer has to be.
Regardless of what you have endured (I am fully aware some have endured much), you can slowly rebuild a new life for yourself. You can decide that you want rid of the old you, that you want to have joy and peace, that you want to live a full life not half a life. It always starts with us. We need to want the change more than anything and we need to stand firm even when the negative thoughts come, even when those around us try to put us back into the box they believe we must stay in.
Our confidence often takes a hit and it is difficult to arrive at the stage where we believe we are worth more than what we have received so far.
I have struggled greatly in the area of letting go of the past. I allowed others to define me by their words and refused to see myself as I was but how they perceived me. I had a lot of pent up anger and resentment at the power I allowed others to have over me, particularly when a teenager. The majority of the time I projected the anger and frustration at myself because I did nothing and said nothing when looking back I could have. I have had to learn to forgive myself otherwise the thoughts and feelings would have destroyed me mentally. I could not allow this.
What steps can you take to let go?
1. Identify what you want from life. What have you always wanted to do but made excuses due to a lack of self-belief?
2. Think about the people you spend time with. Are your relationships/friendships healthy on both sides? Do you add value to people and vice versa?
3. Speak to a close friend in confidence or approach a counsellor. You can go privately or on the NHS (if the latter you may have a long wait)
What are your experiences of ‘letting go?’
Do you struggle in this area?