Let go of the past!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In order to move forward we MUST let go of the past. Our hurts, our challenges, our pain.  We MUST acknowledge that though we experienced pain, rejection, confusion we have a right to move on and enjoy life to the full.  Holding onto the past gives an element of familiarity and comfort even though it is not in any way productive. It is what we know and the thought of stepping away from the old us can be frightening.   Some would rather cling to a life and people that are damaging for them in every possible way. We become our past experiences. We tell ourselves that this is our life, this is our portion when the truth is at one period it WAS our portion but no longer has to be.

Regardless of what you have endured (I am fully aware some have endured much), you can slowly rebuild a new life for yourself.  You can decide that you want rid of the old you, that you want to have joy and peace, that you want to live a full life not half a life. It always starts with us. We need to want the change more than anything and we need to stand firm even when the negative thoughts come, even when those around us try to put us back into the box they believe we must stay in.

Our confidence often takes a hit and it is difficult to arrive at the stage where we believe we are worth more than what we have received so far.

I have struggled greatly in the area of letting go of the past. I allowed others to define me by their words and refused to see myself as I was but how they perceived me.  I had a lot of pent up anger and resentment at the power I allowed others to have over me, particularly when a teenager. The majority of the time I projected the anger and frustration at myself because I did nothing and said nothing when looking back I could have. I have had to learn to forgive myself otherwise the thoughts and feelings would have destroyed me mentally.  I could not allow this.

What steps can you take to let go?

1. Identify what you want from life. What have you always wanted to do but made excuses due to a lack of self-belief?

2. Think about the people you spend time with. Are your relationships/friendships healthy on both sides? Do you add value to people and vice versa?

3. Speak to a close friend in confidence or approach a counsellor.  You can go privately or on the NHS (if the latter you may have a long wait)

What are your experiences of ‘letting go?’
Do you struggle in this area?

 

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16 thoughts on “Let go of the past!”

  1. Letting go is so FREEING!
    I have finally learned to let my past go, and not let it define me.
    I’ve also learned how to use my negative experiences to fuel my positive ones, and also to use them to inspire others!
    Congratulations for living a happier life, by the way. You DESERVE it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Indeed, letting go is a biggy and can take a long time, even with the desire to be able to do so. Gentleness with self is key, as well as a willingness to cry, meditate, visualize, pray, etc. Letting go is healing. Thanks, Phoenicia, for another lovely message.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Phoenicia. Thanks for this post. I agree that with age comes wisdom; I certainly feel less concerned about what others think about me as I get older. But if the difficult things from your past are still with you – eg your family (parents) – I wonder how hard it is to extricate yourself psychologically from them and move on?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monika – far easier to move on when the people you had issues with are still in your life. I guess you force yourself to deal with the emotions and create boundaries in your relationship going forward.

      Like

  4. Great article. The past can be easy to fall back on, especially when you are unsure of the future, but it’s like living a half-life. Even more concerning, I find that when you spend all of your time looking back you can’t possibly see where you are going.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautiful advice Phoenicia! I agree with your point about the importance of moving on, ruminating over things you can’t change or hanging on to hurts and grudges only causes heartache. But I do think taking the time to understand these events and why they affected us in the way they did (the way you have) is a valuable exercise to help clear the way for a happier, healthier future. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So beautifully said, Phoenicia! Not that I have not had my own things to get over/recover from, but I recall a conversation with my mom when she was a few years older than I am now. She was bemoaning something about her upbringing–which, I know was not great. Having heard this refrain before, I said: “Mom, you have been with dad since you were 17 years old. Don’t you think it’s time to let it go? Do you think everything in my childhood was great? It wasn’t, but I let it go–you and dad did the best you could and you loved me.” She always had a hard time letting go, but that conversation started us being able to talk about things.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Phoenicia: I think we learn this lesson as we age. I am over 60 now, and no longer go out of my way to please people or keep peace. Life is too short to let other people cast a dark cloud over our space. Think positive happy thoughts and the skies above you will clear.

    Liked by 1 person

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