How do you deal with your insecurities?








We all suffer with one insecurity or another.   How we deal with these insecurities greatly impacts on our outlook on life as well as our behaviour towards others. According to when one suffers from insecurity they have a lack of confidence, lack of assurance and self-doubt.

Insecurities can derive from the following;

1. Having a negative mindset.  Negative thoughts come to your mind and you allow them to take residence there. You begin to believe the words spinning around in your mind.

2. Having negative words spoken over you as a child by parents, family members, peers, people in authority.  Growing up and believing you are less prettier/handsome, academic, talented than another.

3. A child hearing their parents/guardians speak negative words about themselves. The child then starts to believe they too are unworthy.

What are the effects of insecurity?

1. Lack of trust in yourself.  Self-doubt will reign in your mind causing a hindrance to decision making however big or small.

2. Lack of trust in others. Believing people do not have your best interests at heart. Believing people have a motive for befriending you. Expecting people to disappoint and let you down.

3. Low expectations of life in general.  Second guessing everything you do.  Doubting what you are able to achieve in your studies and career.

4. Becoming a people-pleaser due to believing the lie that you are not enough. Therefore you need to go over and above to sustain any form of relationship.   You continue to feel insecure in these friendships as you do not know if people are with you because they value you or due to all that you do.

I could write all day and night about the insecurities I had due to negative words spoken over me.  They consumed me and I trusted very few people. As an introvert I kept my feelings to myself and they tormented me.  I believed the lies that rushed through my mind. Whenever I faced challenges I would relate them back to past situations in which there was absolutely no connection. I truly felt nobody cared and if they did they could do little to help me.

I had to battle through my insecurities to be where I am today.  Negative thoughts still come to my mind but I have to bat them back as I cannot afford to go back to being that person bound by words, what people thought of me. It was crippling and I honestly lived half a life.

How can you work through your insecurities?

1. Write positive affirmations and speak them over your life daily.

2. Identify the root of your insecurity and come up with coping mechanisms to help you when your emotions get the better of you

3. Sign up to counselling sessions

How did you overcome your insecurities?
What advice would you offer to someone who struggles with insecurities?






14 thoughts on “How do you deal with your insecurities?”

  1. I have stated this for a long time, for me I like negativity, or even generate it towards myself.
    As long as I perceive myself less, I am driving to go further. I found early on, it was over self confidence that make me less driven.
    However, in this world we live in today, negativity comes from everywhere, so having some affirmations cannot hurt.


  2. As you know from my posts, I grew up in an overwhelmingly positive household and family. This too, causes problems! We were taught to be humble, so control our egos … see where I’m going? So we had to learn that it’s okay to be confident and secure in our abilities.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent examples and advice Phoenicia. Like you I grew up in a negative environment and on top of that endured a few years of schoolyard bullying so for awhile I was one big walking insecurity. I think my obsession with resilience even back then and willingness to challenge myself helped me to grow out of that phase, but it took time and there were definitely a few missteps. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Have to say that I agree completely with what Debra writes above. But no matter how good our self esteem is it happens once in a while that we wonder how we are going to be able to achiece something. That’s life. Without such challenges life would actually be just routine and boring.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Being someone who does not think in the negative realm, I can honestly say I do not have insecurities. I do suffer from frustrations when things don’t go my way. But most of the time, those are situations beyond my control.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I, too, grew up in a negative environment. I overcome my own fears and insecurities with counseling. I have this saying framed on my desk, and find it comforting whenever I have doubts. “When you start doubting yourself, remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won and all the fears you have overcome.”

    Liked by 2 people

  7. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard about managing insecurities is to ask yourself if you would ever say to another human being the negative things you say to yourself. When looked at from that perspective it’s often easier to realize how harsh your self-criticism can be.

    Liked by 1 person

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