Your emotions – are they in check?

This week I have had several conversations about how we are moved and often ruled by our emotions.  Our emotions are powerful and real. They matter to us as individuals as we go to sleep with them at night and wake with them in the morning. We cannot always pinpoint why we have particular emotions, at times they just descend upon us catching us unawares.

Oscar Wild, author and poet quoted;
” I do not want to be at the mercy of my emotions, I want to use them, to enjoy them, to dominate them.”

What a powerful quote! I believe Oscar Wild realised how much we can live off of our emotions, that our emotions can heavily influence how we react to others and the way in which we perceive ourselves.

Emotions are linked to feelings. People, circumstances, a place will evoke feelings in us; these feelings may bring us joy or sadness. Our feelings can consume us and become a hindrance in us moving forward and reveiving the best that we can from life.

Reflecting back to my childhood years, I was a highly emotional child and teenager. Though quiet I felt a lot and kept these feelings hidden deep inside. I was an introvert and terribly shy so did not reveal much to others. I endured the ending of a very close friendship at the age of 13 and bullying almost simultaneously and said nothing. I kept my feelings so close to my heart that I am surprised I did not burst. There was definitely an element of rejection, shame and confusion involved. I did not know how to deal with the feelings that arose from these challenges. I tried to suppress the feelings and it only served to add to what would become years of depression.

I perceived high sensitivity as a hindrance and yearned to have a thick skin like several peers who chose to let comments fly over their head rather than go home and renumerate over them. I spent years questioning why I had such a character and yearned to be someone else, anyone but me. Boy am I glad I got over that!

I am now able to deal with my emotions far more effectively. However I still am a sensitive and emotional individual – I doubt this will ever change. I am able to accept who I am and own any feelings that come my way.   The majority of the time I can detect whether I am blowing a situation out of proportion or if there really is an issue at hand.  We cannot stop feelings but we can control how we react to them.

Being highly sensitive is not a weakness, in fact it keeps you in check and in tune. It means I can detect when others are suffering in silence and reach out to them. It means I can empathise with others who are enduring emotional trauma.

I have read several books on dealing with your emotions and recommend;

Battlefield of the Mind – written by Joyce Meyer, International Speaker in dedication to her son who suffers with depression

Mastering your emotions – written by Colin Dye, Senior Pastor of Kensington Temple Church, Notting Hill UK

Are you highly emotional?
When did you first realise this?
What steps did you take/are you taking to keep your emotions in check?


18 thoughts on “Your emotions – are they in check?”

  1. I am definitely an emotional person. I noticed this a lot when I was younger and started to be more in tuned to recognizing my emotions. I can’t say I have got better in handling of my emotions, but I usually practice more self-care to keep my emotions in check. It helps sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing Janelle. Though you may not feel you are able to keep your emotions in check, you are very much aware of them. Acknowledgement is a step in the right direction.


  2. “Emotions are linked to feelings…”, you are right. I am not the much emotional person now thanks, God. I was an emotional before like you but I tried to control my emotions in a better way now I think.
    I have a toddler and now, most of the time is spent with him and I am always monitoring him carefully and the way he expresses his emotions, though he can’t speak amaze me.
    So kids can express emotions even before they become able to speak.
    But how to guide him towards a better and emotionally strong person will take time.


    1. Hi Dania, thank you for commenting on my blog. Yes, it is amazing that children express themselves from a very young age. The way in which we communicate with them has a great impact on their development.


  3. I’m willing to bet that even the kids we both thought were confident and unawares were probably insecure on the inside–they just hid it better than we did. We have to embrace our emotions, but not let them control us and sometimes just naming the emotion can take the sting out of it a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are probably right. I have never been able to conceal my feelings very well. It seems like a lot of effort to me to pretend to be someone you are not. We should be accepted for who we are with a willingness to change parts of our character that perhaps do not show pleasing.


  4. Phoenicia – what a great topic. I’m sure everyone – even those thick-skinned ones you mentioned has had to deal with overwhelming emotions at one time or another. I doubt if we can totally master them but we can accept them. Last week I was extremely tired and a kind soul asked me how I was feeling and I actually burst out crying – totally inappropriate setting but there you have it. It is what it is.


    1. Thank you Lenie. We can learn to deal with our emotions but it takes time and effort. On the day you burst into tears you you were clearly waiting for someone to ask how you were. Sometimes it is a little care and attention which highlights how vulnerable we are.


    1. It is good to embrace who you are. I spent years feeling at a great disadvantage being sensitive. I was often told off as a child for being sensitive which made me feel abnormal and distant from others.


  5. Excellent post, Phoenicia. I especially like this line: “We cannot stop feelings but we can control how we react to them.” That is so true. there is nothing wrong with being emotional. But we must not let our emotions, and overthinking everything ruin our relationships with others.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. No human being can always control their emotions. But once you understand that the problems you “have” are all in your mind it becomes much easier. Or to quote “I’m an old man have had many troubles – most of them never happened”.


  7. This is an important topic. I’m glad you brought it up. Many people think that there’s nothing they can do about the strong emotions they feel. But there ARE things you can do, as you point out. Thank you for sharing your experiences.


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