Do you what you need to do, to be where you need to be!

Deep down we know what it is we need to do – be honest! The problem is we do not always want to do it. We want to do what is comfortable, what is easy, what is familiar.  Staying in our comfort zone (we all have one) means we very rarely move up to where we need to be – instead we coast along.  We are not entirely happy in our comfort zone but it is rather cosy. It is here that we convince ourselves we are fine as we are.

Take exercise or healthy eating (I refuse to mention “dieting” as long term we all know it is unsustainable). At first it is difficult to change your eating habits and adding exercise to your already busy life.  I came to a point where I accepted I am no more a 30 something and if I wanted to look and feel good, I would need to put the effort in. Well, that was a shock to my system. As a teen and in my early twenties I was as lean as anything and could eat whatever I liked without it impacting on my weight.

I knew if I wanted to see a change I had to make a change. There are no shortcuts as if there were, believe me I would have taken them. It actually feels liberating making conscious decisions in your life which you know will go on to benefit you and in some cases others.  Putting in the work whether physically, mentally or emotionally does not feel so great in the moment but the long term results far outweigh the temporary feeling of dread.

What do you need or want to do?
Pass your driving test
Study to work in a particular field
Take up a hobby
Work on your confidence, self-worth
Adopt a healthier lifestyle

There is no reason why you cannot get the ball rolling today. Look online, make a telephone call, speak to a friend or colleague.

You are responsible for your own progress and development.  You can choose to do little or you can choose to do much.  However slow your pace, ensure you continue to move forward.

Have you recently stepped out into something new and challenging? What pushed you?
What advice would you give to encourage someone else to do so?

What is your motivator for reaching your goal?

In order for us to reach our goal and move forward in life, we need to have a reason or if you like, a cause. Our reasons and cause will ensure we hang on in there long after we are tired, bored or feel out of our depth.

My cause is wanting to make a difference in the lives of others-to make my mark. I have a passion to leave a legacy for my generations to come; both financially and spiritually.  What I do each day is not just for the benefit of me or my immediate family. I regularly remind myself there is a bigger picture and what I put in today will enhance tomorrow.

The well known saying “keeping your eye on the prize” rings true. We must remain focused on what we hope to achieve, the end result and NOT what we feel right now. Our mood can change from one day to the next depending on what is happening around us so is hardly a reliable source.

Our goals should be broken down into small chunks enabling us to remain encouraged when we have met part of them.  We can even go as far as rewarding ourselves along the way – food does not need to be involved, a new book, nail varnish or top is just as nice.

Of course there will be challenges along the way, obstacles which may or may not deter you from continuing on your journey.  It is entirely your choice. One must not make the mistake of believing facing challenges means you are on the wrong road. Life is never this black and white.  Explore your options if you must but do not give in.

The questions we should ask ourselves is;

How much do I want this?

Am I willing to take full responsibility in order to reach my goal?

What am I willing to sacrifice?

How much time and money am I willing/able to put into reaching my goal?

Let your yes be yes and your no be no

How easy it is for one to commit to a task and then bail out once they find it is no longer convenient.  How often have you put yourself forward without much thought then backtrack on realising just how much of yourself you will have to give? Have you attended a networking event, got a little carried away and signed yourself up to something you either have little interest in or you do not know enough about?

In order to be taken seriously and walk with integrity, you must deliver what you say you will unless of course there are circumstances in which you have absolutely no control over.  People will regard and respect you when they know they can rely on you once you have given your word.  In an organisation, it is highly likely that officers who “get the job done” are the first port of call when a task is required.  In the long run they may well do more than their colleagues but they will be recognised as being a team player and more likely to be considered for promotion and further development.

In our busy world, people tend to want answers quickly in order to move forward, however you have the right to give thought to a request before signing up to anything. In fact, going away and pondering over a new venture, a favour, a task puts you in better stead than the person who hastily says yes. Saying yes is pointless unless you are going to follow the task through until the end. Saying yes and failing to deliver is just giving others empty promises.

As a parent you must remain consistent, however hard it may be.  If you tell your children they cannot play with a toy, watch a programme, eat a particular snack then you need to stick with this.  My children are both strong willed – still trying to identify where they inherited this from!  There have been occasions I have given in (I know, I know), in order to have peace and due to feeling utterly exhausted. I soon realised I was making a rod for my own back.  Whatever you do not address now will continue to rear its ugly head until you do.

I have listed a few tips below on how to remain consistent;

1. Aim to follow through whatever you say you will. If for any reason you cannot, inform the other person in good time, explaining why.

2. Give time to consider what to commit to and what not to commit to.  Not everything that presents itself well is right for you.

3. Refrain from speaking out in haste and having to retract your words at a later date.

What are your personal experiences on this subject?
How do you ensure you keep your word?
How do you deal with others who do not keep their word?


How content are you?

Oprah Winfrey quoted;

“Be thankful for what you have, you will end up having more. If you concentrate on what you do not have, you will never ever have enough.”

Have you ever felt you do not have enough of something, whether it be time, money, good health, friends, hobbies, achievements, recognition, attention from close friends and family? We have all been there (at least I have) where we spend far too much time focusing on what we do not have and overlook what we do have. This overshadows our view and changes our perception of ourselves and life.  It can consume us and cause a great hindrance to our joy. I say joy as happiness is short lived. Happiness is temporary and tends to be based on a future event or an occasion such as a celebration or a holiday.  Once this is over, your countenance changes.

As a teenager, I recall thinking of my evening/weekend plans to get me through the day. I would even go so far as planning what I would watch on television.  I was deeply unhappy at school and constantly looked for reasons to feel happy.

We do of course have needs and desires and when these are not met (primarily our needs), it can cause us a great deal of stress.  As children/teenagers we had ideas of what life would be like as an adult; in my case it was the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted.  It did not occur to me that being an adult would come with a great deal of responsibility.

Back to my point – our lives may not be what we envisaged due to a number of factors (this list is not exhaustive);

1. Decisions we have made
2. Circumstances that are beyond our control
3. Lack of choice
4. Lack of knowledge

We can go over what life could have been had we done x, y or z but this will not bring an immediate change.  We can be hard on ourselves which will only dent our self-esteem.

We can choose to look at the good elements of our lives and enjoy every minute of them. We can choose to stop in this moment and take in what is around us rather than stewing over the “gaps” in our lives. There is not one person in this world who does not have a need. Some refuse to allow this to dampen their spirits and enjoy life, others feel they cannot be complete until they receive what they desire. Which one are you?

Live life to the full today!

Do you have contentment?
Did you have to work at it?
What advice would you give someone struggling in this area?