Accept yourself!

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Do you appreciate and accept yourself?

Accepting oneself brings about a peace of knowing oneself. You have no need to gain recognition from others. Your confidence is not based on what others say or in some cases, what others do not say. You are kind to yourself, you take care of your inner and outer body. You are aware of your weaknesses and your strengths and are happy to develop both without beating yourself up in the process. 

You can celebrate others knowing it takes nothing away from you. You can be inspired by others without secretly carrying envy and questioning why you do not have what they have or why you cannot do what they do.

Evangelist and author Joyce Meyer, often refers back to her major struggles with insecurities and constant need for recognition. I have read several of her books including Approval Addiction, Battlefield of the Mind, Help Me I am Married! Joyce always comes back to the same point; she neither loved or liked herself in her early life and was always aspiring to be something else, someone else.

For some accepting themselves has been rather easy, due to being optimistic, praised often as a child or adored by peers and family members. For others it is a struggle to accept themselves due to negative words being spoken over them, poor self-image or rejection.

I am going to be a little vulnerable in an area in which I struggled to accept myself.  I have passed this hurdle now so am no longer bound by it. One of the great benefits to “letting go” of an issue is the freedom it brings. You can comfortably disclose it in the hope to encourage others.

I wear size 8 (41) shoes (probably from the age of 11/12). My feet were long and slim when young and my mother often had trouble finding suitable shoes and sandals. She became frustrated at having to frequent a number of shoe shops. As a result I felt guilt and shame. When buying shoes as a late teen/young adult, I would ask shop assistants for my size in the lowest voice ever and find a hidden corner to try the shoes on. I felt embarrassed at having large feet and I did not want customers watching me squeeze my feet into the shoes.  A few “friends” from the past, male and female commented on the size of my feet. I wondered what on earth they expected me to do – cut my feet in half?

Now I love (okay like) my feet and I accept them slim and long as they are. They are quite model like!  My husband wears size 11 shoes and you can guess our children have “generous” size feet! In fact, soon after my son was born, the midwife commented on the length of his feet. I just smiled – how could I have expected anything different?

You need to make a decision to accept yourself. You do not need to be given the go ahead from anyone. Accepting yourself should not be equated to staying just as you are and developing a “this is who I am – like it or lump it” attitude. It means accepting where you are right now and being determined to work on those areas required.

The more tolerant you are with yourself, the more tolerant you will be with others. In the same way that those who love themselves can freely love others.

Do you easily accept yourself?
How easily do you accept others?

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24 thoughts on “Accept yourself!”

  1. Dear, lovely post for many accepting them as they are is difficult especially from where I am people like following what others are pursuing and not what they are interested or what they are passionate about.

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      1. It is a part of what the masses believe in, very few believe in thinking out of the box. Now the situations are changing slowly but the pace is too slow!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I believe a human being can never succeed in life unless they learns to accept themselves!
    No matter what comes in life we should accept ourselves in the finest possible way…and inspire others to do so…
    Good post! Keep addressing such issues

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  3. Well said Phoenicia! Self-acceptance is a struggle for many people and as you pointed out it tends to affect some areas more than others. Thank you for sharing your story, you are an inspiration. 🙂

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  4. This is so true! I think the most hardest thing for most people is learning how to accept yourself. I know I have a hard time with that.

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  5. I am inspired and touched by this. Truly self acceptance help to improve self confidence. As Phoenicia also pointed out: “self acceptance is about accepting where you are and being determined to work on those areas required”. Hence it is not about wallowing in self pity but appreciating that you are unique and bringing out the best in us!
    Thanks Phoenicia for sharing!

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  6. I remember being around 11 or 12 and making the decision to like and accept myself, especially physically. Even then, I was picking up on how girls are so critical of their bodies when nobody probably even notices the supposed flaws. I just figured I didn’t want to put energy into fretting over those kinds of things, so I haven’t for the most part. That’s not to say how I’d feel if I lost an eyeball or something, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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  7. Believe me, I accepted myself and the way I am a long time ago. That does not mean that I try to force people to do things my way. I accept most people. However, nasty people I don’t respect but if we work in the same company or something like that I just accept that that’s the way they are and ignore their behaviour. In life we can’t avoid coming across a**holes.

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  8. This is a blog to be shared with high school students! You’re right, Phoenicia, we basically have to decide to be happy with our unchangeable parts and change the things that we want/need to change. But it has to be done for ourselves, first, not to live up to others’ expectations.

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    1. Do you think so Rose Mary? I once ran a youth group and thoroughly enjoyed it too. Young people experience so many emotions, they struggle to know themselves, to be accepted by their peers, with the general pressures of life.

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  9. Accepting ourselves is certainly not an easy thing to do. It took me a while to accept myself, but now that I do, I’m at a much better place than when I used to compare myself to others. Growing up in the UK, and being the only Asian kid was tough and I was always labeled ‘different’ but in time, I learnt to embrace those differences and I’m lucky to have very loving and supportive parents. Thank you for sharing this lovely post!

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    1. Rosary – I am pleased you have come to the place of accepting yourself. It is difficult being “different” when all you want to do is fit in. I am sure you appreciate your uniqueness now!

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  10. HI Phoenicia,
    You are brave to take on this topic and to share your story. Many of us struggle with self-acceptance as a result of being criticized and bullied as children. Often it takes many years to get past feelings of inadequacy and not being good enough. In my case, it was due to highly critical parents. Nothing I did was ever enough for them. Then a highly critical husband continued the practice. It wasn’t until I earned my PhD that I finally believed I was good enough. Now as an elder, I feel confident and satisfied with myself.

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    1. Dr Rin I can only discuss this because it is part of my past and no longer linked to who I am now. I hope that my “sharing” will continue to bless people.

      I am sorry that you pushed yourself to the limit in order to have that “feel good” feeling. I doubt you had any peace back then. Now you can rest in the knowledge that even if you did nothing more for the remainder of your life, you would still be enough. What freedom this brings!

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