Given the choice I would like nothing more than a comfortable, straight forward life where everything is as I want it to be. Who would have it any other way?
I often think about staying at home working on projects that I enjoy which fit nicely around dropping and collecting my daughter from school. The reality is leaving my home early and returning late, having managed my blog and online business whilst on my long commute. I know this is for a season and I remain focused on my goals, one of which is to work entirely for myself.
We are well aware that challenges are inevitable, therefore it is important that we find strategies in order to deal with them. Often, once I overcome a challenge, another one is waiting behind it to greet me! I am sure many of you can relate to this.
Below I have placed challenges into three categories;
1. Challenges that we cannot control such as an illness in the family or the way in which we are treated by others. These challenges are the most painful as we know there is absolutely nothing that we can do to change the situation. We cannot make an illness disappear or change someone’s attitude towards us.
2. Challenges that are for a season such as working in a job that we do not like. Although this challenge will not be long term, it can be hard to manage whilst going through it.
3. Challenges that we can change immediately but do not (feel we) have the strength to do so such as removing ourselves from a toxic/damaging relationship. Others may advise us to leave but when you have bound yourself to another, you will need to be willing to experience a loss.
Reflect on the following question;
Do I have any control over my situation?
If no, you can seek support and advice to assist with coping either day-to-day or long term. Many charities exist to provide practical and emotional support to those who require it.
If not at present, you can learn to accept your situation until you are able to change it. Do what you can to make life more bearable. Perhaps give yourself a weekly ‘treat’ day.
If yes, be willing to step out into the unknown. You will be scared but do it anyway. Do not stay in a situation through the wrong belief that this may be the best that life has to offer you.
How do you face challenges?
Have your coping mechanisms changed compared to five years ago?
organisedlady 
What a great post. I think the most important part of a challenge is to identify it. It is hard to know how to face a challenge, unless you know what kind it is. Once you do that, you can come up with a strategy on how to face, and overcome it. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you William.
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When it comes to challenges I take a time to think for a minute. After that I find a way to move through them if possible. Faith and staying positive helps me a lot along the way.
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Faith certainly helps Jason.
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My family has faced the challenge of loss since 2004. Up until that time, the only family members we lost were elderly. Not that they were not deeply mourned, but it is different to lose someone older than someone in their thirties who just got married. So, the losses have rolled over us–my parents, an Uncle…more folks…and I survive by Faith. It has given me the strength to be strong for my family and has given me the sanity required to…well, stay sane.
So as my faith grows, my ability to roll with other life challenges has gotten easier. Or perhaps less stressful is a better way to say that.
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Rose – sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone close sure puts things into perspective.
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I find it very interesting how you categorize different types of challenges Phoenicia. For me personally, the toughest challenges are the ones that can’t be controlled because of the feeling of helplessness. Coping and getting through the obstacle is a skill that takes maturity and self- awareness.
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Tatia – thank you. We will all experience each of these types of challenges at one period or another in our lives.
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I like the fact that you are talking about challenges rather than problems! Just calling it a challenge makes it so much easier to deal with. One thing I try to do is remain positive and tackle the issue as best as I can. Sometimes, just talking it through with family or friends makes it easier.
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Thanks for the encouragement Mina. They indeed are challenges which can be worked through.
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Phoenicia, I find when the challenges become too much (and recently for me they did) that circling your wagons and deciding who you are going to allow in that circle to protect and care for is the best place to start.
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Kires – thank you for your comment.
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I side with Tim in knowing I’m at my best when pushed outside of my comfort zone, and yet I did the opposite and spent years crafting a life where everything was comfortable and straight forward… until I found out my ex-husband wasn’t the person I thought he was. People have told me time and time again how resilient I am, and I guess I have to agree. Circumstances pushed me, and I pushed back. I never thought I would be able to say I work completely for myself, but have actually reached that point with my freelancing.
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Congratulations Jeri on coming into your own!
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Phoenicia.. I can completely understand your second paragraph. That would be the wish of so many parents. Family is the most important. If my dreams come true, I will continue to work from home once our daughter starts school.
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Then we are working towards the same goal!
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Facing a lot of challenges all at once can be difficult. I agree with Ken, if that happens it’s best to narrow your focus, identify the ones you can control and move on from there. Otherwise you become stressed, overwhelmed with concern and frustration. Just my thoughts. 🙂
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Thanks for your ‘take’ on this Susan.
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Phoenicia, your suggestion, about seeking out a charity for support is so valuable.When people are immobilized everything breaks down including, thinking about what to do or where to go for help. Whenever my life is going “Gr-r-reat” I stop and think, “what am I doing “? I go through a mental check list of, my diet,exercise, sleep etc. Sure as clockwork if things start going downhill it’s because I let one of my good daily habits slip and my life isn’t balanced.
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Pamela – thank you for your encouragement.
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Phoenicia, this is a great “let’s think about this” post. We think we would like an easy life but would we really? If everyday was the same, with no problems, wouldn’t we eventually become complacent and bored (and boring)? We need challenges to motivate us to action, whatever that action might be. If we didn’t have challenges we would no longer appreciate the good times. It’s all a matter of balance.
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Lenie – I think it is a case of “the grass is always greener!”
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Well, I am not so sure your first sentence would describe the way I would like my life to be but each to his/her own. I tend to operate best when I am completely out of my comfort zone.
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Thanks for your honesty Tim. You obviously thrive on the chaos that life so often brings.
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Sometimes if you face a lot of challenges it is best to narrow your focus a little and deal with the ones you can control, one at a time. If you can overcome just one I think it helps. Otherwise the whole picture can seem overwhelming.
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Ken – I agree with you. One small bite at a time!
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It is so difficult to live with challenges where you don’t have control. These are things we often tend not to talk about as a society, I believe because it is a painful reminder to many that we really don’t have control. That is also why many turn to alcohol, drugs, food, etc for support. Thank you for the healthy tips for getting through these difficult situations.
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As you say Erica, some people find their challenges too painful and they turn to vices to soften the blow. I am glad you appreciate my advice.
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All human beings face challenges. Even Madonna and the King of Saudi Arabia. It’s just a question of what challenges. An easy life with no complications is actually really boring. People who have that make huge issues out of every small Western world challenge they face.
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Catarina – I agree that everyone faces challenges, maybe not financial but challenges all the same.
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Great post Phoenicia! I like that you mentioned the question: “Do I have any control over my situation?” When I am under stress, I ask myself this question as well. Just by asking this question, it brings my attention to the situation that I can’t control and it helps my stress level. It works every time. Thanks for sharing.
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You are welcome Sabrina.
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Challenges come into every life. Some may be extremely difficult and immobilize us for a while. But ultimately we have to cope with them. Good post to have us think about how we do that.
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Thanks Donna.
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Excellent post! I think often that we just have to realize that every single life, no matter how you live it, will bring you to your knees every now and again. Adjusting is a given, so we best learn how to do that to the very best of our ability! And some people are just better ‘rollers’ than others!
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Thanks Jacquie. Adjusting is difficult as is accepting our situation for what it is.
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Very inspiring article Phoenicia! Some of the most important lessons we learn in life come from the challenges we face – but it’s a myth to think that adversity itself is the source of potential growth. Rather it’s how we choose to manage our challenges. We each have the power and authority to create our own life experience – not in spite of the obstacles we face – but because of the way we respond to them.
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Marquita- thank you for giving your view on this.
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You know Phoenicia, until I read your post, I never gave a thought to how I am always trying new things. As life changes, we can find it easier to face our challenges by updated our coping mechanisms. Thanks for this encouraging post.
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Pat – glad I was able to provide you with an insight
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